New Semester; New Strength

   So it's my freshman year of highschool and I'm half way through it. Let me tell you... it's been a rough year so far; too much stuff to comprehend for a girl my age. There's been the suicides, fights, new classes, loosing friends, gaining friends, finding a new "social group", finding out who I am, forgivness... there's been a lot.
   In my last post I talked about how I went to the hospital, about my thoughts, about everything that's been happening in my life currently. I took a shower the other day... I looked at the razor and honestly... that was the first time I looked at the razor, grabbed it and didn't think about hurting myself with it. Instead of thinking, "I want the pain" I said "I don't want the pain. I can do this. I'm strong; I'm getting stronger. I will do it." Guess what? I'm getting stronger everyday. Do you know how? God. God is my healer. God is my life. God is making me stronger. I will get through this depression. I will get through this hurt. I will, and God will be by my side the whole time, holding my hand.
    Today I went with my youth group to a college; SAU (my sister goes there). I was nice to see her, to hang out with friends... just have fun. It was nice to get away and just be free. Basketball, tours, food, laughs, fun. It was an awesome day. When we got back into town I went to my pastors house and he took me, his son, his girlfriend, his brother, and a friend to the park here. "Why would you go to the park in the middle of winter, in the freezing snow?" might you ask? Because. Because there was a prayer group going on. Because we prayed for those who are hurting. Because there are peole out there who need help. Because there are other people out there. Because you aren't alone and we want people to know that. I didn't know most of these people but I stood next to a guy who played football with one of the kids who commited suicide... you could tell that he was broken inside. He told a story about him and Eric at football practice one day. It's amazing that friends would do anything for eachother. This kid came to the park, in the middle of winter, in the freezing cold, to pray for Eric, to let people know that he was hurt, to let people know that they aren't alone, to show that he loves his friend.
    Here me out... you're NOT alone. I'm here. Your friends are here. Your family is here. And most importantly, God is here. If you don't want to talk to a parent or friend or another adult about troubles that you're having, talk to God. Pray to Him, write a letter to him, or even write a letter to yourself. Get it all out. Heck, if you want, comment on this and I'll respond.
    I'm here. God's here. We love you. Help yourself, don't hold it in... If there's one thing I know, it's that you're not alone. Talk to someone. Get help. There is always help out there. Please, don't hold it all in, it'll only make things worse.


                                                                                                                     Sincerely,
                                                                                                                     Katie Lynn